Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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