You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
