Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
