Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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