Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
