Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
