she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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