he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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