I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know, be my cock's hype man.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize