Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
