we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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