how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
3pm strippers are depressing
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
