she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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