I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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