you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
