you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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