Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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