I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
