HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
