We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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