i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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