Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
