Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
