its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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