The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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