I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
