I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
