I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
