According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
