There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We have started to decorate penises.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
