Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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