I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dick very happy bro
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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