So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
