I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
