Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
