the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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