I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
