I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
