My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
