Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
