Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
