You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize