I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
