We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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