i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize