a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
