eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
