She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
