I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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