I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
