are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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