4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
