I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
