Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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