three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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