I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
