ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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