May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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