I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
