well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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