Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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