just come out here and I will go home with you...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize