dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
