I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How does one acquire holy water?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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