Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
