If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My life is pants optional.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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