biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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