Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize