well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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