It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
not ubering you a puppy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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