Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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