its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
