shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize